i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
