Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
