Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it because I queefed?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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