Walk of Shame. In a state park.
time to smoke my breakfast
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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