He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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