So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
