He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
