i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
