Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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