I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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