I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
