So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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