Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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