My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
