if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
