it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize