super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize