butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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