Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm like, not good at living.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
