I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
