Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can I color on your dick again?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
