My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
