is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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