Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
