My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
