I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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