just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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