Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I am morally bankrupt
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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