my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
