No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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