dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
