you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
