yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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