i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize