I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
third nipple confirmed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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