why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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