I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
