Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
they need to just BURY HIM!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
