She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
