god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
