Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
