dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ketchup is God's man juice
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
