You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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