I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
