Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize