Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
