make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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