she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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