Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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