Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize