He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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