i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
