she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
