too bad you live with your parents still
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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